Someone close to me deeply struggled with depression this past year. They desperately needed help, support, and encouragement. And I felt like for the first time, I’ve been able to pay it forward and encourage someone who shared similar struggles as I did.
I’ve learned a lot as a ‘caretaker’ and support person for loved ones battling mental illness. I’ve learned what helps and what doesn’t. And how we respond truly matters.
I wanted to share with you three ways that we can come alongside a loved one struggling with mental health.
1. Listen without judgment. Be curious and ask questions to clarify how they are feeling and where their pain is coming from. They are brave to trust you with difficult feelings, so listen carefully and avoid the ‘fix it’ mentality.
2. Validate how they feel. Using phrases like “I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this” goes a long way. Seek to understand how they feel even if you don’t. Go out of your way to show them that you truly care about them and their feelings, no matter how difficult it might be to hear.
3. Respond with empathy.
“Thank you for trusting me with this.”
“I’m here for you when you need to talk.”
“How can I help you right now?”
(and make specific suggestions on how you can help!)
“Can I take you out for breakfast?”
“Can I help run an errand for you?”
“Can I watch your kids so you can have a break?”
Kelley Spencer
Kelley Spencer is a Christian author, wife to her high school sweetheart, mother of two boys (and one angel in heaven), gardener, traveler and mental health advocate.
Click HERE to view her website.