I enjoy providing premarital counseling for couples. I’m all about prevention! It’s so much fun working with a couple who wants to learn the skills that can set them up for a successful marriage. Did you know that the state of MN will give you a discount on your marriage license if you do 12 hours of premarital counseling? That’s a pretty cool incentive!
Twelve hours of premarital counseling may sound like a lot, but what I find when I’m working with couples, is that there’s even more information we could talk about. There is so much we don’t even know that we don’t know in this world, and quite likely about ourselves and our partners. Premarital counseling helps us become more aware of ourselves and our partners so we can have a healthier relationship.
When I provide premarital counseling for a couple, I give them the Prepare-Enrich assessment to take online and then we go over the following topics from their report and the workbook with worksheets: sex and affection, communication, conflict resolution, finances, children, parenting, personality types, spirituality, partner style and habits, leisure activities, and family & friends. Spring is a popular time to do premarital counseling since a lot of people get married in the summer. Send people my way if they’re wanting premarital counseling and I can provide it or try to help them find someone who can.
I hope that’s motivation for most people because premarital counseling can be very beneficial. I get it, it can be scary to go to a professional and talk about the details of your relationship, but it’s worth it. I was nervous about doing premarital counseling before I got married, but I’m glad we did it anyway. We went to our facilitator’s house for premarital counseling with a few other couples. Then we met with a facilitator at least once to do a private counseling session. When I do premarital counseling with a couple I meet with them in my office (and/or via telehealth) for 12 different sessions.
When I provide premarital counseling for a couple I usually start by going through the six core exercises from the workbook with them. Since Prepare-Enrich has designated them that way I figure they’re the most important, so I start with them to make sure we have time for them. The six core exercises are: Creating a Wish List using Assertiveness and Active Listening, Identifying the Most Critical Issues, Ten Steps for Resolving/Managing Conflict, Couple and Family Maps, and Personality.
I remember when I was trained on how to do premarital counseling this way, I learned that there is a positive correlation between assertiveness and relationship satisfaction. The more you can work on saying what you want and need to your partner in a respectful way, the more satisfied you’ll be in your relationship.
Money, sex, and parenting tend to be the 3 power issues that lead couples to seek marriage counseling. By talking about these 3 specifically during premarital counseling it gives couples a better chance at success in navigating these in their marriage. The Prepare-Enrich workbook has 4 worksheets about Financial Management: The Challenges of Money, Importance of Financial Goals, Budget Worksheet, and The Meaning of Money. The workbook has one worksheet about Sex and Affection called The Expression of Intimacy. The workbook has 3 different worksheets about Children and Parenting: Couple Discussion about Children, Planning a Weekly Family Conference, and StepFamilies: Choosing Realistic Expectations.
On prepare-enrich.com they claim that when you get premarital counseling you can reduce your chances of divorce by 30%! The Prepare-Enrich is a research based assessment. It was created out of the University of Minnesota, but is used globally. It is used in over 100 countries worldwide. That’s pretty impressive since there are 195 countries in the world.
Thanks for reading! I hope this encourages you to do premarital counseling. Contact me if you are in MN and want premarital counseling with me. If you have questions, feel free to contact me and I can try to help you out.