Partner Picking

Becca Yager is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) who works with individual adults and adolescents.

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Let me help you with your “partner picking”.

I’ll explain. I did not do a good job picking a partner many years ago. I was telling my therapist at the time that I was disappointed in the relationship I was in with my fiancé. She told me if I was already disappointed in the relationship, it wasn’t going to get better just because we got married. That was when the light bulb went off in my head and I knew what I had to do. I broke up with him and called off the wedding, about a month and a half before the big day. People called me brave. I’m so glad I was brave and wise to end a relationship because it wasn’t a good fit for me. I’m glad I didn’t care what people thought; I just did what was best for me.

Calling off that wedding led me to continue to work on myself through therapy and reading self-help books.

This is what I learned: we need to work on ourselves first, to make sure we’re healthy, so we can pick a healthy partner. I worked with that therapist for more than a year. I read books like “You’re Already Amazing” by Holley Gerth. I started to believe that I was amazing, which helped me attract my amazing husband. A year after I called off the wedding I decided to sign up for eHarmony. This is when my husband found me there. We emailed for a while and met in person. We have been together over 8 years now. He is a much better fit for me!

I’m at a time in my life where I want to use what I’ve learned to help others make sure they are getting healthy so they can pick a healthy partner.

Part of what worked for me was being in therapy and reading self-help books. Part of what worked for us was using eHarmony. It helps you find a compatible partner, unlike other dating sites that don’t have the same compatibility matching system. A large part of what helped me was God and the family members and friends He put in my life to give me wisdom. If you’d like my help becoming a healthier person and/or “partner picking” follow me on IG (@beccajyager) and/or see me for counseling if you live in MN. 

I especially enjoy working with women in their 20s and 30s. A big reason I like to work with this age group is because they’re often searching for their spouse and I enjoy helping people along that process. I like to tell clients about books they can read to improve their lives as well. If you live in Minnesota and would like to make an appointment for individual therapy, please call The Center for Hope and Healing at 763-633-5111. I work with adolescents (13+) and adults both in person and virtually.